The following emails are raw and unedited. They were typed from my iphone while I was in Nicaragua. Each night I would try to send a short report (although I was totally exhausted) to my wife, son, Mom and Dad. I find that reading back through them now, they communicate what I experienced fairly well.
7/23
Sent from Mark, after arrival at Hope Central, in Nicaragua, Saturday night:
All is well. Everything is great. We are excitedly exhausted. I preach manyana. We had no problems. Love and already miss everyone. Wish Conner was here.
7/24
I just can't put into words yet how awesome things are. All I can say right now is that both Tory and I are being blown away by the experience. I am so proud of who Tory is that I can't even contain it. She is amazing and in her element. She is a little Janene. She IMMEDIATELY had children all over her and loves every minute of it. She has no fear. Tonight during our worship time she shared and it was the best thing anyone said including me. I was blown away.
My sermon and the worship times have gone very well. All stress is gone and mainly I feel incredible joy. It borders on euphoria.
I love and miss everyone. I mentioned Conner because I am so proud of Tory and know I would be proud of him too and want him to experience this. Seeing Tory like this makes me miss Conner.
Massive love to all. I border on tears most of the time here. Project Hope is the most amazing thing ever. I can't wait to tell you everything.
Love,
Mark
7/25
Things are awesome. I can't begin to tell you in an email. I have been talking to the man who is the Dad of "my family" for two days and he was not a Christian. Today he accepted Christ. Details later what more can I say.
Love you all.
Mark
7/26
I don't know how to start to tell you about things. I could tell you more about Tory and some of the others from our church and how proud I am with them. Mary shared the gospel with her family today and I’m so proud of her. None of these people will ever be the same.
My biggest news... I planned a meeting with my whole family today. I had a good interpreter. I preached the Gospel to them starting in Genesis. They were like sponges. God gave me words I wish I could remember and use again. Antonio reaffirmed that he made his decision yesterday. Maria said she had never been saved and "could I please do that today?". I led her in the prayer of decision and she received Christ. They were sitting together. He prayed again with her. They now have a new family. I talked to them about building their house on the rock and how much things will change. They were excited. They are not the same as some I have experienced. They made serious decisions and it didn't come easily to them. Others had planted seeds in previous teams I am sure. They knew what they were deciding. They decided to follow Jesus and accept the gift of salvation.
There is so much more I could say. I don't know if I will ever be able to express what has happened here. I am overwhelmed. We are building a new community for Christ.
Tory is simply an amazing young lady. I just want to hug her all the time. She is working mostly with the children. Her family is a young lady and her kids. She has shared the gospel with them and they are already saved but she has been sharing love with them.
Our worship times have been sweet too. I could live here but will settle for coming back every year.... maybe.
I do miss home, too. I love you guys. I wish I could walk with Christ like this all the time. I pray maybe I will always be different after this. I can't manufacture this though. Words escape me.
I will stop there. I look forward to telling more in person.
Love,
Mark
7/27
Kristy's prayer for rest for us was answered with an afternoon shower and we came back a little early. I was able to squeeze in a short siesta.
Today I talked to many people about baptism. There is a huge misunderstanding here. They think they have to have all the sin out first. Antonio decided to be baptized today. This was the third time I had talked with him at length about it. He will talk with Maria tonight and I pray she will do it with him. Assuming he doesn't back out it will be tomorrow afternoon. I will get to do it myself in a lake. They say it is safe. Obviously I will be careful. There is a possibility of others too so please pray about this.
This morning I was asked to preach to the Nicas. God laid on my heart Ephesians 2:8-10. There is a gospel of works that is prevalent here. God gave me words. I felt amazing about it. I drew a line in the dirt at one point with my foot in talking about crossing the line of faith. I felt God with me. I preached the Gospel. I felt like Paul. The translators are very good and there are several around. I have picked up mucho Espanol.
Tory's gal, Graciella is also considering baptism. I talked to her too as has Tory. Tory spends a lot of time with her and with many children. Watching her is such a joy.
I have never felt more used by God than this week. It is a powerful feeling.
Much love to you all.
Mark.
Ps the food at base is AMAZING.
7/28
Today was beyond unbelievable. We experienced an abundant harvest. I can't begin to tell you how much pastoral work I have been doing. I have shared the gospel many many times and have explained about baptism and marriage to groups and individuals. There are many misconceptions but God gave us fertile soil and soft hearts.
Where to start... Both Maria and Antonio showed up today both ready to be baptized. I met with a large group of people and explained again about baptism.
Bottom line: We baptized 7 people today in the lake. I baptized 4 including Tory’s little Madre [Graciela] who she has talked with all week. Another guy baptized 2 and a gal baptized 1. Seven total. Can you believe it?
If that isn't good enough there is more. One of the big hang ups here is that people are not married. It is a hassle from both the church and the government so they just don't get married. Meanwhile the church says they cannot get baptized until they are married. Money is also involved.
In the course of explaining about baptism many had this hang up. Whilst telling them I would baptize them regardless (in the Bible baptism was immediate period) I also mentioned that their heart should be to get married asap but you need to understand that these couples really are already committed to each other for life and would tell me so. I'm not so sure God doesn't see them as married already. See the OT.
Anyway I heard one couple wanted me to marry them before the baptism. I then talked to Maria and Antonio about this. He proposed on the spot in front of others. Word got around and I married 4 couples today under a tree in the village.
You read that right. Today I did the wedding for M and A and also baptized them. This is my family. The one I have prayed over for weeks.
Tomorrow is gift day. Each family gets a huge bag of toiletries and a goat. We already gave them a huge bag of food. I plan to provide a garden for them after we return. PH takes care of it.
I am euphoric.
Love,
Mark
7/29
We gave our families their goats and a huge bag of toiletry items. We also had a celebration with a piñata. The culture here is wonderful.
After the gifts we said our goodbyes. I had the chance to say some more words to the people. I warned them of false teachers (wolves) who would come along and I also talked about following Christ in good times like this but also in bad times.
As I said my goodbye to my family (privately) Antonio responded with a speech of his own. He thanked me mostly for my teaching moments with him but also for other things. They were both so excited to be saved, married and baptized. What can I say? I can't even believe all this really happened.
I shed a few tears but then when Tory got on the bus she totally broke down And of course we both just cried and cried in each other’s arms. Most people cried. It was bittersweet. Tory and I are closer than ever of course but I miss my Conners. Next year, bro.
After that we went to a restaurant on the beach (couple hours away) and played in the ocean and Soccer on the beach. It started raining and we kept playing. It was a total blast and Tory and I looked pretty good out there I must say. It was a memorable experience. Cleansing.
I am now in full bore homesick mode but one more service to carry on tonight.
Love u guys too much. This should go out when we get back to base.
Love,
Mark
Monday, August 15, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
A Farewell to Facebook (Again)
Maybe the third time is the charm. I know what you’re thinking. Here’s another rant from someone burned by Facebook. Here’s another effort to demonize something that is good for a lot of people. Well, no, that’s not what this is. This is a note to self. This will serve as a reminder to me as to why I have deactivated my Facebook account for the third time. This is an effort to make it stick.
There is plenty to like about Facebook. I think some are able to harness the good and avoid the bad. I, however, am not one of those people. Why? Well, for starters, because I can only read so much garbage without commenting. Oh, I may make it through the feed nine out of ten times, but that tenth time is the one that gets me.
I think maybe I'm just too logical. And reason can only go so far in online discussions. It can only go as far as both sides are reasonable. That means for some people, reason doesn’t even enter the equation. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but if it's one pen against another, now what?
One of the problems with Facebook and other similar forums is that we don’t all play by the same set of rules. On Facebook, nice guys finish last. Either that or they succumb to not being nice. Those are often the only two options. So, I lose. I lose over and over again. I lose by being nice even though someone has been rude to me. I lose by letting an argument go that I could have won (as if anyone cared). I lose by keeping my mouth shut. Sometimes I even lose by apologizing when I have nothing to apologize for. I’m tired of losing.
Oh, I know nobody really wins an argument anyway. My point is in how this all makes me feel. And I know losing can be good for me. I know this is part of life. I know taking the high road pays off in the end. But it sure isn’t fun. And being on the losing side of conflict sure isn’t something I want to choose to experience as much as I possibly can.
Can one be on Facebook and avoid conflict? Well, maybe one can, but apparently I am not him. And it isn't from lack of effort. I almost never post anything controversial, but oh my goodness gracious, look out if I ever do. I have strong opinions, but I almost never post them on Facebook. Why? Because I don’t enjoy pain. And yet, try as I may, I can't seem to avoid conflict on Facebook. If nothing else, I read the conflict of others and I want to take a side. Whether or not I actually say anything, I feel the conflict. I read posts I strongly disagree with... some are even factually inaccurate and most of the time I say nothing, but I still feel the conflict inside. When I do feel I must say something, I try so hard to be understanding and polite, yet responses are seldom in kind. The next thing you know I’m just trying to get out of a mess, but some people won’t even let that happen without getting as many shots in as possible, because I had the nerve to invade their Facebook kingdom, however diplomatically.
What about when friends or even family members are treated badly on Facebook by someone else? How hard is it not to enter the fray? Recently I felt my mother was treated quite rudely and disrespectfully in a comment string. I desperately wanted to fight back with words that could have made the other individual look bad. Instead, in an attempt to diffuse an ugly situation, I tried to say something conciliatory and understanding. I even found common ground and reminded the individual that we all love each other as family. The response was no less a hurtful attack on my character. Resigned to staying a nice guy, and left to nurse my wounds, I did not respond. A week later, it still hurts.
I don’t want to be a person who never risks sharing an opinion or who never risks a reasonable disagreement. However, neither do I want to invite every person I know into my house for a 24/7 opinion fest. Isn’t that pretty much what Facebook is becoming? Add to that scene the inherent problems with written communication and it seems to me like Facebook offers mostly an extra helping of conflict to my life.
Yeah, I know some people are able to use Facebook in a different way. More power to them. But for me (and maybe for more of you than want to admit it) a farewell to Facebook leaves me with three things: 1) a lot more time, 2) fewer stomach knots, and 3) a great big sigh of relief.
Farewell forever, Facebook. You just weren’t right for me. And now I think I’ll just see if that old cell phone still works. I wonder what my friends will do if I call and say, “Hey, just wanted to catch up. How are you?” They’ll probably text their response to my voice message.
There is plenty to like about Facebook. I think some are able to harness the good and avoid the bad. I, however, am not one of those people. Why? Well, for starters, because I can only read so much garbage without commenting. Oh, I may make it through the feed nine out of ten times, but that tenth time is the one that gets me.
I think maybe I'm just too logical. And reason can only go so far in online discussions. It can only go as far as both sides are reasonable. That means for some people, reason doesn’t even enter the equation. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but if it's one pen against another, now what?
One of the problems with Facebook and other similar forums is that we don’t all play by the same set of rules. On Facebook, nice guys finish last. Either that or they succumb to not being nice. Those are often the only two options. So, I lose. I lose over and over again. I lose by being nice even though someone has been rude to me. I lose by letting an argument go that I could have won (as if anyone cared). I lose by keeping my mouth shut. Sometimes I even lose by apologizing when I have nothing to apologize for. I’m tired of losing.
Oh, I know nobody really wins an argument anyway. My point is in how this all makes me feel. And I know losing can be good for me. I know this is part of life. I know taking the high road pays off in the end. But it sure isn’t fun. And being on the losing side of conflict sure isn’t something I want to choose to experience as much as I possibly can.
Can one be on Facebook and avoid conflict? Well, maybe one can, but apparently I am not him. And it isn't from lack of effort. I almost never post anything controversial, but oh my goodness gracious, look out if I ever do. I have strong opinions, but I almost never post them on Facebook. Why? Because I don’t enjoy pain. And yet, try as I may, I can't seem to avoid conflict on Facebook. If nothing else, I read the conflict of others and I want to take a side. Whether or not I actually say anything, I feel the conflict. I read posts I strongly disagree with... some are even factually inaccurate and most of the time I say nothing, but I still feel the conflict inside. When I do feel I must say something, I try so hard to be understanding and polite, yet responses are seldom in kind. The next thing you know I’m just trying to get out of a mess, but some people won’t even let that happen without getting as many shots in as possible, because I had the nerve to invade their Facebook kingdom, however diplomatically.
What about when friends or even family members are treated badly on Facebook by someone else? How hard is it not to enter the fray? Recently I felt my mother was treated quite rudely and disrespectfully in a comment string. I desperately wanted to fight back with words that could have made the other individual look bad. Instead, in an attempt to diffuse an ugly situation, I tried to say something conciliatory and understanding. I even found common ground and reminded the individual that we all love each other as family. The response was no less a hurtful attack on my character. Resigned to staying a nice guy, and left to nurse my wounds, I did not respond. A week later, it still hurts.
I don’t want to be a person who never risks sharing an opinion or who never risks a reasonable disagreement. However, neither do I want to invite every person I know into my house for a 24/7 opinion fest. Isn’t that pretty much what Facebook is becoming? Add to that scene the inherent problems with written communication and it seems to me like Facebook offers mostly an extra helping of conflict to my life.
Yeah, I know some people are able to use Facebook in a different way. More power to them. But for me (and maybe for more of you than want to admit it) a farewell to Facebook leaves me with three things: 1) a lot more time, 2) fewer stomach knots, and 3) a great big sigh of relief.
Farewell forever, Facebook. You just weren’t right for me. And now I think I’ll just see if that old cell phone still works. I wonder what my friends will do if I call and say, “Hey, just wanted to catch up. How are you?” They’ll probably text their response to my voice message.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The Problems with Email Conversations
I have been addicted to email for some time. I check email just about every day, from the time I get up until I go to bed, sometimes even late at night. I don’t always respond the moment I see something, but I know it is there. I send and receive countless emails every day. Some are from friends, some from family, some are silly, some are serious, some are related to my music, some are related to my ongoing education, or something I have written online, but most are related to my church. Between all the different spheres, there are emails coming in 24/7, and I send out almost as many as I receive.
Anyone who does email a lot will tell you that inevitably, some of those emails will either have a hint of conflict or, at least, the potential for conflict. A certain percentage of emails cause misunderstanding, and that percentage is considerably higher than the misunderstandings occurring within verbal conversation. Those who know this by experience find themselves tiptoeing through the keypad, often gingerly hitting the send button, never knowing for sure if we have misspoken until we receive the response. And with email, there is always a period of waiting for the response, and that waiting also adds just a little bit more stress to life.
Many times I find myself waiting to hear back from multiple sources, wondering if I have been misunderstood, if I have upset someone, or maybe I’ve very stupidly used email to let someone else know that they’ve upset me. And now I’m waiting to see if they understand, or if things have gotten even worse. And I wait... And I wonder what they’re thinking... And I worry... STUPID!
Now, if the percentage of possibly difficult emails is just five percent, then for me that’s about three or four emails per day that potentially have some kind of conflict attached. And so I’m checking email constantly, wondering what so and so will say about so and so... or will they even respond? Why aren’t they responding? Did I say something offensive without meaning to? What if I forget about the whole situation, because in sending the email I checked it off my list... but what if they never respond? What if they ignored it or never read it. What if it went into their spam folder? Or worse, what if they took something the “wrong” way? Was I out of line? It’s been a day and a half, and no response. What is going on? When will they respond? What have I done!
“Dear Charlie, I hope you didn’t take me wrong in my last email. I didn’t mean to come across too strong. I just meant to say.... blah, blah, blah, blah....”
Three more days of scanning my emails for one from Charlie, and finally Charlie writes back....
“Dear Mark, No, no everything’s fine... good point. By the way, your sermon last Sunday reminded me of the old days... Bye, Charlie”
The old days? Is he saying my sermon was old fashioned? Was it too traditional? Did I hammer people like the preachers of old? Or is he saying that I used to preach great when he first came to church, but then it started to stink, until last Sunday it was good again? Or maybe he was only saying he has fond memories of sermons in his childhood and this reminded him of that for some positive reason? So, not knowing whether to be offended or not, of course, I write back:
"Hey Charlie, not meaning to be a pain, but I just wanted to try to understand what you were saying about “the old days.”
And I wait for his response... and I check back to see if it is there like every five minutes for the next 2 days. (I know I need email intervention.) Email can drive a person insane!
I haven’t even talked about the intentionally hurtful emails, which are rare but unforgettable. Then there are the three page email writers who expect you to respond to every point, point by point, when the whole issue could have been covered in a five minute verbal conversation. Then there are the forwards, most of which are stupid and have been going around for a decade, and there are the scams and the misinformation. I have a love-hate relationship with email. It’s kind of a co-dependency thing... can’t live with it, can’t live without it.
Now, what really are the problems with email as a format for conversation? Well, I’ll tell you. The first problem is obvious... emotion. It is extremely easy to read the wrong emotion into an email. It happens constantly, and many times we never even find out that we were wrong in our interpretation. We just let it hurt our relationship with that other person and never say anything about it, which is also sad. Even from one sentence to the next, we can get the wrong emotional idea from emails. Is it sarcastic? Are they angry? Are they snide? Are they laughing? Is there an underlying point the writer is trying to make? Is there an insinuation? Are they sad? Are they speaking softly or are they yelling? Who knows? And emoticons might help a tiny bit, but those are for girls... so they’re no help to me anyway.
The second problem with email as a method for conversation is that a huge percentage of verbal communication is supported by body language... facial expressions, hand movements, posture, etc. You can’t look into someone’s eyes when you’re reading an email. Are they laid back or are they intense? Are they animated or are they passive about it? How big of a deal is it to them? Who knows?
The third problem is that people are almost always more harsh in writing than in person. We don’t see how our words are affecting the listener. We don’t feel it as much. We don’t have that moment of recognizing that we’re hurting the other person more than we intended to, or that we’re angering the other person, which might motivate us to back down, or even backtrack and reword things. Instead, we just plow on through, only to find out in the response just how horribly the other person interpreted our words. And now it’s too late, because those words are right there in black and white, and I’ve found that people have a very hard time letting go of their initial interpretation, even if you try hard to explain it.
A fourth problem is the stark, pick-it-apart nature of written communication. You could write 5 paragraphs of positive, and two sentences of negative, but when you get the response back it will be like the only thing you wrote were the two sentences of negative. This doesn’t happen as much with verbal communication, because we can’t go back and read the things we hear over and over. We hear audible communication more holistically, but read written conversations in separate pieces. When we read, we tend to divide things out into sentences and paragraphs, and we can take more time to analyze what we like and what we don’t like about what is being said. Conversely, when we listen to someone talk, it all kind of averages together, so anything potentially negative doesn’t stick out like it does in an email.
The fifth problem is less often addressed. It is an inherent problem with one-sided communication. There is simply no ability for the listener to interject. This allows the author to rant and rave and say a whole bunch of stuff that he or she may never have said, if the listener had a chance to get a word in edgewise. This is incredibly frustrating and upsetting for the listener. We so need to recognize this. There is nothing more frustrating than to have someone make incorrect assumptions about you, and then to place you in a position of defending those wrong assumptions. This is painful enough in verbal communication, where you can interject. Add to this the one-sided nature of an email and incorrect assumptions can send someone through the roof.
How many assumptions are made in emails? We even say things like, “Now I know you may be thinking...” or “You probably don’t agree, but...” and then the other person can’t even say, “uh, no... I don’t think that,” so we go on for a page with potentially loaded words that we never would have said had the other person had an opportunity to interject, or even shake their head.
What if our initial assumption is wrong? What if the person wanted to say, “No wait, that’s not what I meant at all?” Six paragraphs later, you’ve made enough hurtful assumptions that it doesn’t even matter whether the other person meant what you thought or not, because now you’re going to be dealing with what you said, which would have never been said, if the other person had been there to correct your misunderstandings.
Ok, now listen. I know all of this stuff is true. I haven’t read any of this anywhere. This comes from personal experience. I have experienced the problems of email communication almost daily for probably 15 years. And boy have I had some tough emails to read. But sometimes I still do the very thing I hate! I always think I can manage it somehow this time, with enough qualifications... enough diplomacy... And I don’t know about you, but I’ll even pat myself on the back for how much more I was going to say, that I edited out... Didn’t I try to be as nice and diplomatic as possible? And so, because I made an extra effort, I feel exonerated for trying to converse through email once again. What a dummy.
I don’t know how many times I’ve almost not sent an email response, only to go ahead and send it. Why? Because it was so eloquently written! I know I’ll never be able to make my points so well in person, plus if I delete it, I will have wasted all the time I spent writing it! And I know other people think the same way, because I receive their emails.
Sometimes, it gets so bad, that I literally expect to have a stressful or painful email every time I look at the computer. I can see that I have emails from people, and I click on them with fear and trepidation, hurrying to see what it says, and when it doesn’t say something that is potentially charged with emotion or is confusingly sarcastic or critical, I actually let out a sigh of relief. Whew... one more benign email in the books.
I’m sure ninety five percent of the emails I receive are harmless. But in Russian roulette, there’s only one out of 6 chances that you’re going to blow you’re head off. I feel like I’m rolling the dice every time I check email. It’s insane. It’s stupid! I have developed a phobia of emails... and not just of the ones I receive, but of those I send. The only way I can make sure there is nothing to fear is to check email and make sure I don’t have a difficult one. And then for like the next five minutes, I’m okay. I’m exaggerating in all of this, of course.
But don’t you just wonder what it would be like if we didn’t have all these quick forms of written communication? Texting, chat and Facebook obviously have similar issues. What if we just had to call and actually talk to the person? Even voice messages don’t have the same problems. Or better yet, what if we had to make the effort to go and talk face to face on any matter of personal importance? Certainly, much would be left unsaid. The Bible indicates that there is wisdom in speaking less. I wonder how much wiser I would be and appear if I never tried to have another conversation through email or similar means.
Knowing all of this, I honestly wonder what we should do. Leave a comment if you have an idea. I think I need to make myself some new guidelines. And it would be really cool if everyone I know would think about this too. :-)
Anyone who does email a lot will tell you that inevitably, some of those emails will either have a hint of conflict or, at least, the potential for conflict. A certain percentage of emails cause misunderstanding, and that percentage is considerably higher than the misunderstandings occurring within verbal conversation. Those who know this by experience find themselves tiptoeing through the keypad, often gingerly hitting the send button, never knowing for sure if we have misspoken until we receive the response. And with email, there is always a period of waiting for the response, and that waiting also adds just a little bit more stress to life.
Many times I find myself waiting to hear back from multiple sources, wondering if I have been misunderstood, if I have upset someone, or maybe I’ve very stupidly used email to let someone else know that they’ve upset me. And now I’m waiting to see if they understand, or if things have gotten even worse. And I wait... And I wonder what they’re thinking... And I worry... STUPID!
Now, if the percentage of possibly difficult emails is just five percent, then for me that’s about three or four emails per day that potentially have some kind of conflict attached. And so I’m checking email constantly, wondering what so and so will say about so and so... or will they even respond? Why aren’t they responding? Did I say something offensive without meaning to? What if I forget about the whole situation, because in sending the email I checked it off my list... but what if they never respond? What if they ignored it or never read it. What if it went into their spam folder? Or worse, what if they took something the “wrong” way? Was I out of line? It’s been a day and a half, and no response. What is going on? When will they respond? What have I done!
“Dear Charlie, I hope you didn’t take me wrong in my last email. I didn’t mean to come across too strong. I just meant to say.... blah, blah, blah, blah....”
Three more days of scanning my emails for one from Charlie, and finally Charlie writes back....
“Dear Mark, No, no everything’s fine... good point. By the way, your sermon last Sunday reminded me of the old days... Bye, Charlie”
The old days? Is he saying my sermon was old fashioned? Was it too traditional? Did I hammer people like the preachers of old? Or is he saying that I used to preach great when he first came to church, but then it started to stink, until last Sunday it was good again? Or maybe he was only saying he has fond memories of sermons in his childhood and this reminded him of that for some positive reason? So, not knowing whether to be offended or not, of course, I write back:
"Hey Charlie, not meaning to be a pain, but I just wanted to try to understand what you were saying about “the old days.”
And I wait for his response... and I check back to see if it is there like every five minutes for the next 2 days. (I know I need email intervention.) Email can drive a person insane!
I haven’t even talked about the intentionally hurtful emails, which are rare but unforgettable. Then there are the three page email writers who expect you to respond to every point, point by point, when the whole issue could have been covered in a five minute verbal conversation. Then there are the forwards, most of which are stupid and have been going around for a decade, and there are the scams and the misinformation. I have a love-hate relationship with email. It’s kind of a co-dependency thing... can’t live with it, can’t live without it.
Now, what really are the problems with email as a format for conversation? Well, I’ll tell you. The first problem is obvious... emotion. It is extremely easy to read the wrong emotion into an email. It happens constantly, and many times we never even find out that we were wrong in our interpretation. We just let it hurt our relationship with that other person and never say anything about it, which is also sad. Even from one sentence to the next, we can get the wrong emotional idea from emails. Is it sarcastic? Are they angry? Are they snide? Are they laughing? Is there an underlying point the writer is trying to make? Is there an insinuation? Are they sad? Are they speaking softly or are they yelling? Who knows? And emoticons might help a tiny bit, but those are for girls... so they’re no help to me anyway.
The second problem with email as a method for conversation is that a huge percentage of verbal communication is supported by body language... facial expressions, hand movements, posture, etc. You can’t look into someone’s eyes when you’re reading an email. Are they laid back or are they intense? Are they animated or are they passive about it? How big of a deal is it to them? Who knows?
The third problem is that people are almost always more harsh in writing than in person. We don’t see how our words are affecting the listener. We don’t feel it as much. We don’t have that moment of recognizing that we’re hurting the other person more than we intended to, or that we’re angering the other person, which might motivate us to back down, or even backtrack and reword things. Instead, we just plow on through, only to find out in the response just how horribly the other person interpreted our words. And now it’s too late, because those words are right there in black and white, and I’ve found that people have a very hard time letting go of their initial interpretation, even if you try hard to explain it.
A fourth problem is the stark, pick-it-apart nature of written communication. You could write 5 paragraphs of positive, and two sentences of negative, but when you get the response back it will be like the only thing you wrote were the two sentences of negative. This doesn’t happen as much with verbal communication, because we can’t go back and read the things we hear over and over. We hear audible communication more holistically, but read written conversations in separate pieces. When we read, we tend to divide things out into sentences and paragraphs, and we can take more time to analyze what we like and what we don’t like about what is being said. Conversely, when we listen to someone talk, it all kind of averages together, so anything potentially negative doesn’t stick out like it does in an email.
The fifth problem is less often addressed. It is an inherent problem with one-sided communication. There is simply no ability for the listener to interject. This allows the author to rant and rave and say a whole bunch of stuff that he or she may never have said, if the listener had a chance to get a word in edgewise. This is incredibly frustrating and upsetting for the listener. We so need to recognize this. There is nothing more frustrating than to have someone make incorrect assumptions about you, and then to place you in a position of defending those wrong assumptions. This is painful enough in verbal communication, where you can interject. Add to this the one-sided nature of an email and incorrect assumptions can send someone through the roof.
How many assumptions are made in emails? We even say things like, “Now I know you may be thinking...” or “You probably don’t agree, but...” and then the other person can’t even say, “uh, no... I don’t think that,” so we go on for a page with potentially loaded words that we never would have said had the other person had an opportunity to interject, or even shake their head.
What if our initial assumption is wrong? What if the person wanted to say, “No wait, that’s not what I meant at all?” Six paragraphs later, you’ve made enough hurtful assumptions that it doesn’t even matter whether the other person meant what you thought or not, because now you’re going to be dealing with what you said, which would have never been said, if the other person had been there to correct your misunderstandings.
Ok, now listen. I know all of this stuff is true. I haven’t read any of this anywhere. This comes from personal experience. I have experienced the problems of email communication almost daily for probably 15 years. And boy have I had some tough emails to read. But sometimes I still do the very thing I hate! I always think I can manage it somehow this time, with enough qualifications... enough diplomacy... And I don’t know about you, but I’ll even pat myself on the back for how much more I was going to say, that I edited out... Didn’t I try to be as nice and diplomatic as possible? And so, because I made an extra effort, I feel exonerated for trying to converse through email once again. What a dummy.
I don’t know how many times I’ve almost not sent an email response, only to go ahead and send it. Why? Because it was so eloquently written! I know I’ll never be able to make my points so well in person, plus if I delete it, I will have wasted all the time I spent writing it! And I know other people think the same way, because I receive their emails.
Sometimes, it gets so bad, that I literally expect to have a stressful or painful email every time I look at the computer. I can see that I have emails from people, and I click on them with fear and trepidation, hurrying to see what it says, and when it doesn’t say something that is potentially charged with emotion or is confusingly sarcastic or critical, I actually let out a sigh of relief. Whew... one more benign email in the books.
I’m sure ninety five percent of the emails I receive are harmless. But in Russian roulette, there’s only one out of 6 chances that you’re going to blow you’re head off. I feel like I’m rolling the dice every time I check email. It’s insane. It’s stupid! I have developed a phobia of emails... and not just of the ones I receive, but of those I send. The only way I can make sure there is nothing to fear is to check email and make sure I don’t have a difficult one. And then for like the next five minutes, I’m okay. I’m exaggerating in all of this, of course.
But don’t you just wonder what it would be like if we didn’t have all these quick forms of written communication? Texting, chat and Facebook obviously have similar issues. What if we just had to call and actually talk to the person? Even voice messages don’t have the same problems. Or better yet, what if we had to make the effort to go and talk face to face on any matter of personal importance? Certainly, much would be left unsaid. The Bible indicates that there is wisdom in speaking less. I wonder how much wiser I would be and appear if I never tried to have another conversation through email or similar means.
Knowing all of this, I honestly wonder what we should do. Leave a comment if you have an idea. I think I need to make myself some new guidelines. And it would be really cool if everyone I know would think about this too. :-)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
BBQ Chicken and Rice
Not only do I love to cook, but I love to make stuff up and hope it is good. Friends, this one rocks.
Place 2 cups or so of uncooked brown minute rice in 9x13 baking dish
Pour over top of rice a can of black beans, undrained. You need the liquid.
Sprinkle a generous amount of the seasoning salt of your choice.
Place 6-8 boneless chicken thighs on rice mixture (you could use breasts or bone in or whatever, but the thighs rocked).
Salt and pepper the chicken, then pour a bottle of BBQ sauce on top (I used "Sweet Baby Rays").
Bake covered with foil at 375 for about an hour and a half. I uncovered for the last 15 minutes or so.
Be prepared to fall in love with this dish. I served with some steamed veggies and a fresh salad.
Place 2 cups or so of uncooked brown minute rice in 9x13 baking dish
Pour over top of rice a can of black beans, undrained. You need the liquid.
Sprinkle a generous amount of the seasoning salt of your choice.
Place 6-8 boneless chicken thighs on rice mixture (you could use breasts or bone in or whatever, but the thighs rocked).
Salt and pepper the chicken, then pour a bottle of BBQ sauce on top (I used "Sweet Baby Rays").
Bake covered with foil at 375 for about an hour and a half. I uncovered for the last 15 minutes or so.
Be prepared to fall in love with this dish. I served with some steamed veggies and a fresh salad.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
A Joke...
So a priest, a rabbi and a pastor go into a bar near Hollywood... Don’t ask why, it’s just a joke. After them, a violent gang enters and proceeds to create havoc. The three clergymen stand up, calling on the gang to cease and desist. “Who’s going to make us?” they say. The rabbi speaks up, “Michael Douglas goes to my synagogue.” The gang says, “So what?” So the priest speaks up, “I have Mel Gibson in my parish.” “Oooh... says the gang... We’re not afraid of him either.” The pastor stands up and says, “I have Chuck Norris.........” Immediately, the gang throws down their weapons, goes to their knees, and starts praying for mercy.
By the way, if you didn’t know, Michael Douglas is a Jew, Mel Gibson is a Catholic and Chuck Norris is an evangelical Christian. Let’s just put it this way... at least in the category of who has the baddest dude... we win.
By the way, if you didn’t know, Michael Douglas is a Jew, Mel Gibson is a Catholic and Chuck Norris is an evangelical Christian. Let’s just put it this way... at least in the category of who has the baddest dude... we win.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
A Parable (From Hebrews 2:1-4)
In another time and another place, three men went to jail. It was a dungeon, actually. According to the law of the land, they had all committed crimes worthy of life in prison. The laws were clear. Their crimes were clear. The consequences were clear. They had no further appeals. Their sentence left them hopeless and beyond redemption. Life in prison was the only destiny they had earned.
But one day a lawyer came to each of the three men, saying “I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is that you can’t get out of this prison on your own, you deserve your sentence and you will die here unless you hear and accept the good news...” “Well, what’s the good news?” they said. “The good news is that someone else has volunteered to serve your sentence for you and the Judge has agreed to allow this for your sakes. All you have to do is accept this new plan and you can go free.”
The first man said, “Well, I don’t believe I should be here in the first place. I haven’t done anything nearly as bad as these other two... besides, don’t you know who I am? I was told I would be delivered eventually, but not by the likes of you... I’m staying right here.”
The second man said, “Well, let me think about it... I’m not sure I believe you... sounds a little too easy to be true. I think I’ll hold off.”
The third man said, “That’s awesome! Where do I sign?” He accepted the gift and was let out of prison.
The judge heard about the other two and he had pity on them in their foolishness. It turns out that it was his own son who had agreed to take their sentence. That’s why it was enough to satisfy the justice of this particularly just judge. It’s also the reason he wanted as many of the prisoners to take advantage of his son’s sacrifice as possible. So, going the extra mile, he sent his son, the same one who had offered to take their sentence, to talk to the prisoners in person.
The son said to the two prisoners, “I wanted to come down to this dungeon myself to explain to you that I am actually the one who is going to pay the price for your life sentences. I am going to do this by allowing myself to be executed for your crimes. Since I am willing to do this for you, won’t you please accept my gift and come out of this dungeon?”
The first man said, “Thanks, but I’m waiting for another way out.” The second man said, “I’ve thought about it and I just don’t believe this makes any sense. How could your death pay my sentence? How could your death pay the sentence for all of us? Besides, it isn’t so bad down here anyway... I think I’ll pass.” As the son began to sadly walk away, he said, “Well, I’m going to have to die for the first guy regardless of your decisions, so I sure hope you change your minds.”
After the son had given his life, the two prisoners stayed in jail, even though they could have come out at any time. The Judge continued to have compassion on them. He tried one last thing. He found the first man who had been let out of prison and sent him to plead with the other two. The man was loathe to return to the dungeon, but out of love for the forgiving Judge, he went down anyway. He said to those who had once been his fellow prisoners, “You guys don’t know what you’re missing. It’s great out there. What are you waiting for? Your sentence is already paid. All you have to do is believe it is true and make your own decision to accept the forgiveness and freedom that is being offered to you. Why won’t you accept this good news like I did?”
But by now the two men had experienced all the pains of prison and they had grown hardhearted and angry. They were furious that their friend had been let out of his sentence and they had begun to hate the Judge, somehow blaming him for their own mistakes and foolishness. Sadly, they told their former dungeon mate to leave them alone and they settled even more deeply into their hopeless fate.
The End?
But one day a lawyer came to each of the three men, saying “I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is that you can’t get out of this prison on your own, you deserve your sentence and you will die here unless you hear and accept the good news...” “Well, what’s the good news?” they said. “The good news is that someone else has volunteered to serve your sentence for you and the Judge has agreed to allow this for your sakes. All you have to do is accept this new plan and you can go free.”
The first man said, “Well, I don’t believe I should be here in the first place. I haven’t done anything nearly as bad as these other two... besides, don’t you know who I am? I was told I would be delivered eventually, but not by the likes of you... I’m staying right here.”
The second man said, “Well, let me think about it... I’m not sure I believe you... sounds a little too easy to be true. I think I’ll hold off.”
The third man said, “That’s awesome! Where do I sign?” He accepted the gift and was let out of prison.
The judge heard about the other two and he had pity on them in their foolishness. It turns out that it was his own son who had agreed to take their sentence. That’s why it was enough to satisfy the justice of this particularly just judge. It’s also the reason he wanted as many of the prisoners to take advantage of his son’s sacrifice as possible. So, going the extra mile, he sent his son, the same one who had offered to take their sentence, to talk to the prisoners in person.
The son said to the two prisoners, “I wanted to come down to this dungeon myself to explain to you that I am actually the one who is going to pay the price for your life sentences. I am going to do this by allowing myself to be executed for your crimes. Since I am willing to do this for you, won’t you please accept my gift and come out of this dungeon?”
The first man said, “Thanks, but I’m waiting for another way out.” The second man said, “I’ve thought about it and I just don’t believe this makes any sense. How could your death pay my sentence? How could your death pay the sentence for all of us? Besides, it isn’t so bad down here anyway... I think I’ll pass.” As the son began to sadly walk away, he said, “Well, I’m going to have to die for the first guy regardless of your decisions, so I sure hope you change your minds.”
After the son had given his life, the two prisoners stayed in jail, even though they could have come out at any time. The Judge continued to have compassion on them. He tried one last thing. He found the first man who had been let out of prison and sent him to plead with the other two. The man was loathe to return to the dungeon, but out of love for the forgiving Judge, he went down anyway. He said to those who had once been his fellow prisoners, “You guys don’t know what you’re missing. It’s great out there. What are you waiting for? Your sentence is already paid. All you have to do is believe it is true and make your own decision to accept the forgiveness and freedom that is being offered to you. Why won’t you accept this good news like I did?”
But by now the two men had experienced all the pains of prison and they had grown hardhearted and angry. They were furious that their friend had been let out of his sentence and they had begun to hate the Judge, somehow blaming him for their own mistakes and foolishness. Sadly, they told their former dungeon mate to leave them alone and they settled even more deeply into their hopeless fate.
The End?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
A Parable (Inspired by the Book of Hebrews)
Once upon a time, in a different universe, on a small habitable planet, lived a group of self-aware beings called... the Piddledumps. They were somewhat like us, only they had three legs and one arm and they were purple. Now, the Piddledumps were a people whom God loved. He had also created them with the capacity to love Him. Piddledumps, however, were very strong willed and they wanted to do what they wanted to do even if they knew God wouldn’t like it. They constantly sinned against God, so He made a way for those little Piddledumplings to be forgiven.
God said, “One day I will show you a better way, but for the time being I want you to stand on your head for three days every time you sin against Me.” Now, some of the Piddledumps just ignored God, but those who really loved Him tried to follow this new rule. In fact, after awhile some of them spent so much time on their heads they forgot how to stand right side up. Thus, they became known as Piddledumplingupsidedowns.
Over time, the Piddledumplingupsidedowns actually began to take pride in their new name, because they figured it showed just how devout and special they were. After awhile though, standing on their heads became less a sign of repentance from sin, and more a way of just trying to look better than the other Piddledumplings who didn’t stand on their heads.
Every once in awhile God would find one of the Piddledumplingupsidedowns who seemed to understand things a little bit better, and speaking through him, God would try to help the rest of the people see that what really mattered was not standing on one’s head, but loving God and living for Him. The standing-on-the-head part had mostly been instituted so they would understand sin and long for the day when God’s promised better way would arrive. He kept telling them to prepare for that day, but instead the Piddledumplingupsidedowns came up with their own ideas about what God’s better way should look like.
Finally the time came, and God shocked everyone by becoming a Piddledump Himself. He did this in order to better communicate with all the other Piddledumplings, and also so that He could make a way for them to be forgiven forever. If it wasn’t enough that God became a three-legged, one-armed, purple Piddledump, He also allowed Himself to be killed in order to satisfy the justice His holiness demanded for the sins of the other Piddledumplings. In fact, He was killed upside down in order to fulfill God’s former mandate to stand on one’s head for forgiveness of sin. He explained that those who received His gift of grace by faith would no longer have to stand on their heads to please God.
A few of the Piddledumplingupsidedowns began to understand. They accepted what God had given them and started to learn to walk on their legs as God had intended. It was an amazing thing to see. Many of the Piddledumplingupsidedowns, however, couldn’t embrace the change. They didn’t believe God’s promise had come true. They were very fond of standing on their heads.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Piddledumps... the ones who had never stood on their heads... also had their chance to receive the forgiveness of God, even though they had always ignored Him in the past. Some of them just laughed at the idea of God in the form of a Piddledump, rejecting what He had said and done, but many others accepted His gift and learned to live life His way. God called all those who received His sacrifice Piddledumplingrightsideups, and He promised them an eternal home in heaven, where nothing would ever have to stand on its head, again.
The End
God said, “One day I will show you a better way, but for the time being I want you to stand on your head for three days every time you sin against Me.” Now, some of the Piddledumps just ignored God, but those who really loved Him tried to follow this new rule. In fact, after awhile some of them spent so much time on their heads they forgot how to stand right side up. Thus, they became known as Piddledumplingupsidedowns.
Over time, the Piddledumplingupsidedowns actually began to take pride in their new name, because they figured it showed just how devout and special they were. After awhile though, standing on their heads became less a sign of repentance from sin, and more a way of just trying to look better than the other Piddledumplings who didn’t stand on their heads.
Every once in awhile God would find one of the Piddledumplingupsidedowns who seemed to understand things a little bit better, and speaking through him, God would try to help the rest of the people see that what really mattered was not standing on one’s head, but loving God and living for Him. The standing-on-the-head part had mostly been instituted so they would understand sin and long for the day when God’s promised better way would arrive. He kept telling them to prepare for that day, but instead the Piddledumplingupsidedowns came up with their own ideas about what God’s better way should look like.
Finally the time came, and God shocked everyone by becoming a Piddledump Himself. He did this in order to better communicate with all the other Piddledumplings, and also so that He could make a way for them to be forgiven forever. If it wasn’t enough that God became a three-legged, one-armed, purple Piddledump, He also allowed Himself to be killed in order to satisfy the justice His holiness demanded for the sins of the other Piddledumplings. In fact, He was killed upside down in order to fulfill God’s former mandate to stand on one’s head for forgiveness of sin. He explained that those who received His gift of grace by faith would no longer have to stand on their heads to please God.
A few of the Piddledumplingupsidedowns began to understand. They accepted what God had given them and started to learn to walk on their legs as God had intended. It was an amazing thing to see. Many of the Piddledumplingupsidedowns, however, couldn’t embrace the change. They didn’t believe God’s promise had come true. They were very fond of standing on their heads.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Piddledumps... the ones who had never stood on their heads... also had their chance to receive the forgiveness of God, even though they had always ignored Him in the past. Some of them just laughed at the idea of God in the form of a Piddledump, rejecting what He had said and done, but many others accepted His gift and learned to live life His way. God called all those who received His sacrifice Piddledumplingrightsideups, and He promised them an eternal home in heaven, where nothing would ever have to stand on its head, again.
The End
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Driving Freedom
Where will it all end? Will the frogs in the pot ever wake up to the fact that the water is getting hotter? Are we already too cooked to jump out?
It is difficult for most people to understand why a larger and larger government is a very bad thing. Most folks figure the government just wants to help. Most people think we need the government to help us in every way imaginable. Most people have no fear of government. And that is precisely the problem.
Freedom lost is ever so much more difficult to regain than it would have been to keep. As former Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev so ominously prophesied, the freedom of the West is not being taken from us by force, but by our own incremental choices. We are voting ourselves right out of freedom.
Some will argue that we are still very much a free nation. And relatively speaking, we are. The United States of America is still among the freest places on earth, but that’s like saying “gen pop” is freer than solitary confinement. We need to consider the height from which we have fallen. We need to ponder the magnitude of what has been lost and what that loss portends for our future. It’s simple: more government control equals less freedom. Over how many areas of our lives does this government currently exercise some level of control? Is freedom on the increase or the decrease? How quickly are we moving in the direction of less freedom? Where does that road end?
Let’s just think about the example of driving. Driving on the open road has always been one of the images of freedom in the U.S.A. We like our cars... and we like to drive them down the open road. Driving is a poignant symbol of American freedom.
Recently I was pulled over and given two tickets, both for non-moving violations... one for driving without a seat belt (I had just left the parking lot), and another for the fact that my license plate stickers were about 3 weeks overdue. Now, I deserved those tickets, because the law is the law, but let’s think about these laws and others like them. Actually, let’s think about what it takes these days for the government to allow us to own a car and to drive it on the government-owned roads (paid for with our money).
If I want to buy a car, first I need to earn the money to pay for it. At the time of purchase I will also pay the government a substantial amount of sales tax. If it is a new car, I’m looking at hundreds of dollars. Why? Because I had the nerve to earn enough money to buy a car. (By the way, if I have worked hard enough to buy a nicer car, I get to pay an extra “luxury” tax.) Now, having paid this sales tax, and paid for the car, one might think I would have the freedom to drive it, but nay I am just getting started. I also am going to need a driver’s license, for which I will need to stand in line and pay a fee if I haven’t already done so. In fact there is a separate fee for the written test and the driving test. There is also a fee when it is time to renew it, thankfully not very often. Next I am going to need to register the car and get license plates for it. This again is going to cost me a fee, but not until I have submitted to several other governmental controls. Before I can register the car, I am going to need to have purchased insurance for it, required, of course, by the government. Unless it is a brand new vehicle, I am also going to need to pay for two separate inspections: emissions and safety. In addition, if there happens to be anything deemed sub-par by the shop (which is now being monitored by the government), then I will need to pay to get that fixed. The government decides the standards, and they can become stricter at any time. Once I have my two approved inspections and my proof of (expensive) insurance, I need to make sure I have a paid personal property tax receipt. What’s this? I bought a car and now I have to pay the government hundreds of dollars every single year just for owning it? What if I don’t pay this tax or can’t pay it? Well, then I can’t register the car, so I can’t drive it.
So let me get this straight... to experience the freedom of owning and driving a car in this great land, I need to first pay for the car (the only part of this experience related to a free-enterprise system), pay the sales tax, pay personal property tax (this is completely separate from real estate tax), buy expensive insurance and pay for two separate inspections. If I have all of these things done, and can prove my compliance to a local government office, they will graciously allow me to then pay a registration fee and a couple of other fees, so that I can now drive my car...... for one year. Each and every year I am forced to do most of this all over again (unless I pay extra for a two-year registration).
Are these the only ways I’m jumping through hoops and paying the government to let me drive my car? Not even close. Every time I buy gas, I pay a fuel tax and sales tax on that gas. When I get an oil change or change tires, I pay extra because the shop is being forced to comply with government recycling requirements. Additionally, when I bought the car, I paid more than I would have because the government has scads of safety and environmental requirements which are foisted onto car companies, who dutifully pass these expenses on to me. Meanwhile tax dollars pay government employees and rent office space to run all of this automobile bureaucracy, and I feel sure I haven’t even thought of all the ways I pay the government, in order that I might drive my car.
I remember when I was a kid and my aunt and uncle were missionaries in Argentina. I remember my parents talking about how hard it was for them to get anything done there because of the complicated government hoops they had to jump through and all the fees they had to pay. I remember that it wasn’t like that here. Things have since changed.
Are we really free to drive, or is the ideal of freedom actually being driven from our expectations?
What about seat belts? Should I wear one? Sure, it is responsible to wear a seat belt. Should the government force me to wear it? Absolutely not. The Founding Fathers were all about limited government, and they would have absolutely revolted at the idea that government needs to protect its own citizens from themselves. (Unbelievably, if they wanted to go out and shoot a squirrel, they actually went out and shot one without the government’s permission and without an expensive and time-consuming hunter safety course run by the government. Teachers could also lead a prayer in their classroom, among other scandalous things.) When did I give the government the right to force me to wear a seatbelt? I already mentioned how much the government oppresses car companies with safety requirements until now there is practically an air bag coming out of the visor mirror in case you happen to be putting makeup on when you have a wreck. Did I mention car seats? Unheard of when I was a kid. We slept in the back window. Somehow a decent few of us survived. (Next, they’ll be requiring defibrillators in the glove box or maybe we won’t even be able to drive without a licensed and insured MD in the backseat.)
Actually, let me tell you what really may be next... helmets as a requirement for driving in cars. You think I’m joking. Wearing a helmet while you drive your car would greatly reduce your risk of serious injury or death. What if the government were paying for your healthcare? The fact is that very few people would die in car wrecks if we all wore helmets. (I may make my soon-to-be driving daughter wear one, but that is beside the point.) Surely we would all be appalled if the government forced us to start wearing helmets in our cars, right? Even though we would be much safer, we would reject such an idea. And yet, what is the philosophical difference between a helmet and a seat belt? I would argue that a helmet is actually safer. The question is: What is the role of government?
It is not a matter of whether there is a good point to whatever the next government control will be. There is almost always a good reason for the next governmental requirement. (For goodness sake, someone might wind up with a toilet that actually uses enough water to flush, if not for governmental controls, and then just think of all that "wasted" water.) The question is whether anyone still values freedom enough to stand up for it as a value worthy unto itself. The question is whether I am driving freedom or sitting around while freedom is being driven from me.
What monstrosity of a government is this that we have created? Is this the Limited Government envisioned by the Founding Fathers? Absolutely not. What have we lost? Simple. We have lost freedom... and in no small amount. We have allowed far too much blood-won freedom to be compromised. Especially in urban and suburban areas, I can barely walk down the street now without getting government permission and paying a fee.
We have not even begun to realize how much freedom has already been stripped away. Worse, many people don’t even know to care. We are frogs in the pot, and the water is nearing 212 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s time for as many as comprehend the situation to jump out and vote accordingly while we still have the opportunity. Here’s hoping there are enough of us left to make a difference.
Every government in the history of mankind has become larger and more oppressive over time. Freedom is lost by attrition. Bondage has always been the destiny of ignorant and complacent masses. Freedom must be driven by the few in order to survive for all. Calling all lovers of the open road! Come drive freedom with me!
It is difficult for most people to understand why a larger and larger government is a very bad thing. Most folks figure the government just wants to help. Most people think we need the government to help us in every way imaginable. Most people have no fear of government. And that is precisely the problem.
Freedom lost is ever so much more difficult to regain than it would have been to keep. As former Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev so ominously prophesied, the freedom of the West is not being taken from us by force, but by our own incremental choices. We are voting ourselves right out of freedom.
Some will argue that we are still very much a free nation. And relatively speaking, we are. The United States of America is still among the freest places on earth, but that’s like saying “gen pop” is freer than solitary confinement. We need to consider the height from which we have fallen. We need to ponder the magnitude of what has been lost and what that loss portends for our future. It’s simple: more government control equals less freedom. Over how many areas of our lives does this government currently exercise some level of control? Is freedom on the increase or the decrease? How quickly are we moving in the direction of less freedom? Where does that road end?
Let’s just think about the example of driving. Driving on the open road has always been one of the images of freedom in the U.S.A. We like our cars... and we like to drive them down the open road. Driving is a poignant symbol of American freedom.
Recently I was pulled over and given two tickets, both for non-moving violations... one for driving without a seat belt (I had just left the parking lot), and another for the fact that my license plate stickers were about 3 weeks overdue. Now, I deserved those tickets, because the law is the law, but let’s think about these laws and others like them. Actually, let’s think about what it takes these days for the government to allow us to own a car and to drive it on the government-owned roads (paid for with our money).
If I want to buy a car, first I need to earn the money to pay for it. At the time of purchase I will also pay the government a substantial amount of sales tax. If it is a new car, I’m looking at hundreds of dollars. Why? Because I had the nerve to earn enough money to buy a car. (By the way, if I have worked hard enough to buy a nicer car, I get to pay an extra “luxury” tax.) Now, having paid this sales tax, and paid for the car, one might think I would have the freedom to drive it, but nay I am just getting started. I also am going to need a driver’s license, for which I will need to stand in line and pay a fee if I haven’t already done so. In fact there is a separate fee for the written test and the driving test. There is also a fee when it is time to renew it, thankfully not very often. Next I am going to need to register the car and get license plates for it. This again is going to cost me a fee, but not until I have submitted to several other governmental controls. Before I can register the car, I am going to need to have purchased insurance for it, required, of course, by the government. Unless it is a brand new vehicle, I am also going to need to pay for two separate inspections: emissions and safety. In addition, if there happens to be anything deemed sub-par by the shop (which is now being monitored by the government), then I will need to pay to get that fixed. The government decides the standards, and they can become stricter at any time. Once I have my two approved inspections and my proof of (expensive) insurance, I need to make sure I have a paid personal property tax receipt. What’s this? I bought a car and now I have to pay the government hundreds of dollars every single year just for owning it? What if I don’t pay this tax or can’t pay it? Well, then I can’t register the car, so I can’t drive it.
So let me get this straight... to experience the freedom of owning and driving a car in this great land, I need to first pay for the car (the only part of this experience related to a free-enterprise system), pay the sales tax, pay personal property tax (this is completely separate from real estate tax), buy expensive insurance and pay for two separate inspections. If I have all of these things done, and can prove my compliance to a local government office, they will graciously allow me to then pay a registration fee and a couple of other fees, so that I can now drive my car...... for one year. Each and every year I am forced to do most of this all over again (unless I pay extra for a two-year registration).
Are these the only ways I’m jumping through hoops and paying the government to let me drive my car? Not even close. Every time I buy gas, I pay a fuel tax and sales tax on that gas. When I get an oil change or change tires, I pay extra because the shop is being forced to comply with government recycling requirements. Additionally, when I bought the car, I paid more than I would have because the government has scads of safety and environmental requirements which are foisted onto car companies, who dutifully pass these expenses on to me. Meanwhile tax dollars pay government employees and rent office space to run all of this automobile bureaucracy, and I feel sure I haven’t even thought of all the ways I pay the government, in order that I might drive my car.
I remember when I was a kid and my aunt and uncle were missionaries in Argentina. I remember my parents talking about how hard it was for them to get anything done there because of the complicated government hoops they had to jump through and all the fees they had to pay. I remember that it wasn’t like that here. Things have since changed.
Are we really free to drive, or is the ideal of freedom actually being driven from our expectations?
What about seat belts? Should I wear one? Sure, it is responsible to wear a seat belt. Should the government force me to wear it? Absolutely not. The Founding Fathers were all about limited government, and they would have absolutely revolted at the idea that government needs to protect its own citizens from themselves. (Unbelievably, if they wanted to go out and shoot a squirrel, they actually went out and shot one without the government’s permission and without an expensive and time-consuming hunter safety course run by the government. Teachers could also lead a prayer in their classroom, among other scandalous things.) When did I give the government the right to force me to wear a seatbelt? I already mentioned how much the government oppresses car companies with safety requirements until now there is practically an air bag coming out of the visor mirror in case you happen to be putting makeup on when you have a wreck. Did I mention car seats? Unheard of when I was a kid. We slept in the back window. Somehow a decent few of us survived. (Next, they’ll be requiring defibrillators in the glove box or maybe we won’t even be able to drive without a licensed and insured MD in the backseat.)
Actually, let me tell you what really may be next... helmets as a requirement for driving in cars. You think I’m joking. Wearing a helmet while you drive your car would greatly reduce your risk of serious injury or death. What if the government were paying for your healthcare? The fact is that very few people would die in car wrecks if we all wore helmets. (I may make my soon-to-be driving daughter wear one, but that is beside the point.) Surely we would all be appalled if the government forced us to start wearing helmets in our cars, right? Even though we would be much safer, we would reject such an idea. And yet, what is the philosophical difference between a helmet and a seat belt? I would argue that a helmet is actually safer. The question is: What is the role of government?
It is not a matter of whether there is a good point to whatever the next government control will be. There is almost always a good reason for the next governmental requirement. (For goodness sake, someone might wind up with a toilet that actually uses enough water to flush, if not for governmental controls, and then just think of all that "wasted" water.) The question is whether anyone still values freedom enough to stand up for it as a value worthy unto itself. The question is whether I am driving freedom or sitting around while freedom is being driven from me.
What monstrosity of a government is this that we have created? Is this the Limited Government envisioned by the Founding Fathers? Absolutely not. What have we lost? Simple. We have lost freedom... and in no small amount. We have allowed far too much blood-won freedom to be compromised. Especially in urban and suburban areas, I can barely walk down the street now without getting government permission and paying a fee.
We have not even begun to realize how much freedom has already been stripped away. Worse, many people don’t even know to care. We are frogs in the pot, and the water is nearing 212 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s time for as many as comprehend the situation to jump out and vote accordingly while we still have the opportunity. Here’s hoping there are enough of us left to make a difference.
Every government in the history of mankind has become larger and more oppressive over time. Freedom is lost by attrition. Bondage has always been the destiny of ignorant and complacent masses. Freedom must be driven by the few in order to survive for all. Calling all lovers of the open road! Come drive freedom with me!
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