I am wondering how the next generation will survive. When I dropped off my kids at their High School this morning, I noticed that the temperature was 16 degrees. That's 16 degrees below the point where H20 turns from liquid to solid. There was also a pretty stiff wind, so who knows what the wind chill factor was. I was thinking about my outside dog and feeling a little worried.... (She is covered in thick fur and has an igloo house filled with warm bedding).
As I pulled up to the High School, what did I see? I saw kids in shorts with little short socks... kids in short-sleeved T-shirts with no coat... kids dressed as if it were the heat of Summer. In fact, as I pulled up to the drop off point, I only saw 2 kids with coats on... my 2 kids. Did I mention it was 16 degrees?
I think the schools might have brainwashed the kids a little too heavily on global warming (don't even get me started on that one). I found myself wondering, WHAT HAPPENS IF AN EARTHQUAKE OR SOMETHING TAKES OUT THE POWER AT THE SCHOOL AND THEY'RE IN LOCK DOWN? I guess then we'll have survival of the non-idiots... or should I say survival of the children of the non-idiots...
But that's the real problem here, in my opinion. Who are these kid's parents? More importantly, who decided that parents should stop parenting once kids reach the age of 13 (or younger)? Oh, sure, we've got to start picking our battles... we've got to let go where we can... but my goodness, we don't have to ask for permission to continue to be the parent of a teenager who is still learning to be an adult. They need us now more than ever! They still need our authority. They still need our rules. Often, they still need to be flat out told what to do.
As I watched countless kids walking into the school building holding themselves and shivering in response to the literal freezing of their flesh, the fact that they still need parents became clear to me once again.
Am I saying that I would MAKE my 15 year old or even my 17 year old wear a coat on a day like today? Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying. Who do I think I am? I am their Dad. They are teenagers and sometimes they still need a parent to help them overcome the brain-deadness that lapses in and out with that condition.
This goes out to all of you with kids who are getting closer and closer to their teenage years. Listen to me. Once you let go, you can't ever take hold again. Don't let go too soon. Don't stop being their parent before they are ready. They need you now more than ever! Teenagers may not always like it, but deep down they are desperate for Mom and Dad to be Mom and Dad. The day will come when the relationship needs to change, but friend trust me, that day doesn't come during High School.
Put a coat on that kid!!!
Mark I could not agree more. Parents need to parent. We need to let our children be children and while they are children we need to guide them. Our children are told so often that it is time for them to "grow up", stop being "so immature", to "act their age". When we see these behaviors, we need to understand that they think they are acting like they have been told to act! When your 9 or 10 year old comes home and tells you that there is going to be job fair and that he or she needs to decide what to be when they grow up, and then pick their curriculum accordingly, when they get in trouble for doing the things that kids do (throwing snow balls) because they are "being immature", when they feel like playing with a doll at the age of 10 is "babyish", or that they need to wear makeup at the age of 9 or 10, and the parents do nothing to change those things, why then, when they get into adult situations (teen pregnancy, drugs, etc), do we suddenly start crying that they are "just babies"? How many times have you heard a parent cry that their teenage daughter is "a baby having a baby"? What can they expect when their children have been told, often times from the first grade, that they "need to grow up", "act their age", "quit being a child"? We cannot have it both ways, either let them be children and parent them accordingly, or let them do what they want and deal with the consequences. Personally, I think that they have their whole lives to be adults and a very small amount of time to be children. Let them be children, and while they are, be responsible parents. Parenting doesn't end at a "magical age". They aren't grown up at the age of 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, or even 18...they are children and children need guidance.
ReplyDeleteThanks for a great post, Mark....now can you please tell Jake to wear something besides flip flops in the winter? lol
I couldn't agree more. Children literally beg for boundaries, and as they transition into their teen years, it's even more evident. The tough part of parenting is knowing when to let go (haven't totally mastered that one myself), but as you say, you can be pretty sure that if your kids are still in high school, it's not time yet. I wonder in these scenarios if the kids left home without proper clothing without parents' knowledge, or if they did so while parents were trying to tell them to put on a coat. Either way, it's sad. Of course, your observation this morning is not just about kids who have coats choosing not to wear them (what, is it not cool to have a little common sense these days?), but rather, it's more an observation on our culture, our times, as you noted. These kids may as well be wearing a sign that says, "Please someone tell me what to do." Having been in other countries (or poorer areas of our own country) where children/young people literally do not own a coat, it kind of makes me sick to think about having nice, warm clothing and choosing not to wear it because somehow you think you look better without it. Unfortunate. Your advice to parents here is excellent.
ReplyDeleteThis is excellent and so very true.
ReplyDeleteIt's a struggle, but Cameron will at least take his light jacket on mornings like this, though he still won't zip up! ugh. At least he's clothed.
ReplyDeleteThen there's the girl at the drop-off point at school wearing a mini-skirt, leaning into the trunk to get her backpack, while I try to avert my eyes. Again with the whole, "what are the parents thinking!" stuff.
(or is this more a self-critique on what my little eyes see?)
Gordon I'd say if u avert your eyes then you are better than most. As for the inappropriateness of such attire, well that's another blog.
ReplyDeleteThere's so much here. If i had to condense it, i might think that it boils down to loving our children enough "to be into" even the details of their lives. Not in the sense of dictating to them at a later stage of development, but so that they know how important they are to us. Isn't that what we do when we love someone? We are interested and involved in the details of their lives. So that we set firm boundaries, and not then turn away, as though our job is finished. We should always keep a watchful eye on the ones we love, speaking up when necessary, because Love has a voice. Then perhaps they will know and understand how incomparable is that Love which cares to know and understand and guard; for they cannot know why we think a coat is so important unless we take the time to explain our heart to them.
ReplyDeleteWow awesome thought Val!
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